When to Keep Your Mouth Shut by Benjamin Kennet

Responding to anger with kindness can completely turn a situation around, largely because angry people don’t know what to do with it.Ī lot of people will have this preplanned event in their heads on how a situation should go.

The other, much harder way is with kindness. They have nothing to feed on and attack you with if you simply refuse to engage. There is an easy and a hard way to deal with that kind of anger. You generally will not win with anger when dealing with an angry person. Not only is it going to go nowhere, but if they are the kind of person that revels in it, you will just end up feeding their anger and making the problem worse. Whatever the reason, avoid engaging and arguing with angry people. Other people really enjoy their anger, because it’s energetic and it makes them feel alive. Some people are just struggling with their own sadness and trauma. Instead, we tend to use anger because anger forces other people to hear us. Sadness and fear can be construed as weakness, and no one wants to show weakness when they know it can be used as a weapon against them. Society is generally more accepting of anger than sadness or fear. If they don’t, consider physically removing yourself from the situation so you can get a few minutes of your own.Ģ. Inform the person that you’re too angry to have a reasonable discussion right then, and you want a few minutes to cool off. Take some time to cool down if you get heated or feel like you’re losing control. It might just be pointless squabbling or a stalemate where both parties go off to brood in their anger.

Yes, there is generally a resolution, but it might not be meaningful or useful. The problem with that kind of thinking is that it is so much harder to get a meaningful resolution to the conflict when you’re angry. It causes people to shut down, dig into their own defenses, and prepare to fight. The intensity of anger can create a blinding effect. What’s not healthy is acting or speaking out of irrational anger. When you’re irrationally angry.Īnger is a healthy, totally normal emotion that everyone should feel from time to time. For each of them, we’re going to discuss how to actually do that. We’re going to take a look at some situations in which to keep your mouth firmly closed. It’s valuable to speak up and be heard in those situations, if for no other reason than to ensure the other person understands you are not a doormat to be walked on. Standing up for yourself against a bully may require conflict. Arguing can be better than trying to make peace with someone who is treating you or others disrespectfully.

But knowing when to let your silence do the talking is a more complicated matter.īecause sometimes it’s good to speak up, depending on the context of the situation.

When to Keep Your Mouth Shut by Benjamin Kennet